Altered Bournemouth Pictures, Dorset, England

Bournemouth Old Christchurch Road, Bournemouth Pictures, Dorset

Welcome to charming Old Christchurch Road, Bournemouth Pictures.

Bournemouth Sights

Bournemouth is unofficially one of the coolest beach resorts in England, with a (relatively) fine micro-climate, 7 miles (12kms) of mostly fine sand and shallow waters, some pleasant old buildings (where the council hasn’t been persuaded by generous developers to permit rebuilds in low-cost, fibre-board-Tudor) and a fine variety of clubs, shops and eateries ranging from MacDoodoo to celebrity chef establishments.

Aliens attack the pier, Bournemouth Pictures, Dorset

Klingon visitors resent paying the entry fee to Bournemouth pier and give the council a taste of Donner unt Blitzen.

Bournemouth beaches join with Poole beaches in Bournemouth Bay with barely a hint at council change along the promenade, while the sand marginally improves in quality as it heads towards the farthest point west at Sandbanks.

Poole Harbour entrance chops off the sandy curve but hop on the short chain ferry and the beaches continue into Shell Bay and Studland, only with grassy dunes and a nature reserve instead of buildings. A bathers, nudists (one section) and walkers delight as they stride into the picturesque rural landscapes of the Purbeck Hills in search of real ale or real cream teas.

gorillas discuss philosophy on the beach, Bournemouth Pictures, Dorset

Zairean philosophers discuss the meaning of life beside Bournemouth pier.

Bournemouth wildlife, Bournemouth Pictures, Dorset

A Bournemouth Council Hygiene Officer inspects BBQ arrangements on a busy afternoon.

Bournemouth beach hut pictures

Bournemouth’s Boscombe suburb tries to compete with Hollywood and doesn’t quite make it.

Adjacent to this very stretch are some new, uber-hip beach huts designed by the Red or Dead crew, including kitsch murals, mains electricity and hot/cold running water. All this facing a £multi-million artificial surf reef off Boscombe’s beaches.

Sadly neither the glitzy but tiny and very pricey beach huts have sold well, nor has the reef succeeded in turning bumps in surfable waves, though they’re still working on it. Is it a wipe-out? Hold your breath.

Bournemouth beach hut pictures

Bournemouth’s 7 miles (10kms) of beach-side promenade gets resurfaced by cowboy fly posters.

bournemouth attractions montage

Huli wigmen find Bournemouth life enjoyable in spite of the local lack of dress sense, coiffure or sweet potatoes.